Resolution Schmezolution

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Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve just never understood the concept. If you want to change something, why not change it now, instead of waiting for the New Year. And, why does a date in the calendar inspire change?

For the past 5 months, my schedule has been out of control and I haven’t been finding time for me and this very important writing project. Although it’s January, it’s not the New Year that has caused me to make a change. I’ve recently returned from Christmas and international travel, so I’m back home and can focus on a new project.

I’ve decided to change my priorities and stop bending over backwards to help everyone, which in turn makes me have no time available for my own needs. I tend to always put on a smile and be quiet about all the things I have going on in my life, so when I am asked for a favor, I make myself available even when I don’t have the time. I always thought it was unsupportive or selfish to not make time in my schedule to constantly help other people, despite how busy I am. Now, I’m learning that always saying yes doesn’t make me happy.

I have been constantly running around, trying to fit everything and everyone into my schedule. When I look back at the last week, my calendar has been full for an average of 18 hours a day; yet, very little of that had to do with activities or work that helped my life advance or improve, and certainly getting very little sleep only makes the situation worse.

I remember when I was younger, I attended a lecture. The details of the lecture are no longer important, nor the subject matter relevant, but I do remember thinking, wow, that person just discovered X at the age of 25 and I had figured X out when I was 16. As a result, I felt like I always needed to be thinking 10 steps ahead to ensure that I would not waste any years of my life.

Lately, I have noticed, in the words of Mattie Ross from True Grit, “Time just gets away from us.” I’ve been living a little too much in the immediate, not accomplishing things for the big picture. It’s definitely easy to get caught up in the here and now, instead of working toward bigger things.

So, after some thought, I’m starting a new project, called, “Travels through the Heart.” I am going to do things conscientiously to make myself a better person, without doing things that make me feel like I’m wasting my time or doing things to make others happy at the expense of myself.

I’m going to write about this process, both as a record for myself and to inspire all of you out there, who are in the same place I am. Look for more details in the coming posts!